


Tell Me Who You Love

by celeste9



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars: Before the Awakening - Greg Rucka
Genre: Backstory, Dancing, Drinking, Firsts, Fluff, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Meet the Family, Pre-Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-19
Updated: 2016-11-19
Packaged: 2018-08-24 15:51:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8378122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/celeste9/pseuds/celeste9
Summary: For as long as Poe was at the Academy, he never kissed anyone but Muran. As far as Poe was concerned, that was pretty damn ideal.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [aimmyarrowshigh](https://archiveofourown.org/users/aimmyarrowshigh/gifts).



> I wanted to write all of your ships, tbh, but when you asked for Muran as Poe's first serious love/husband/whatever, I could not resist. Hope you enjoy! Also you mentioned your fancast for Muran as Nathan Stewart-Jarrett and my brain went HELL YES so that's who I was imagining when I wrote this. I won't announce my beta just yet but they made this fic better and any remaining mistakes are all on me. The title is from one of the songs Oscar Isaac sings in Inside Llewyn Davis.

Poe knew he was in love with Muran after knowing him for less than two weeks. Hell, he had been pretty sure after two days but even Poe knew that was kind of crazy. It definitely would have been too crazy for quiet, restrained, patient Muran, who blunted all of Poe’s edges, who calmed his fires, and Poe had been desperate not to scare him off.

The first time they kissed was late at night after they’d dozed off studying on Muran’s bed, datapads crushed beneath them. Poe had blinked his eyes open and seen Muran watching him sleepily, his face so close, and it had seemed natural to just roll over and kiss him slowly, while Muran smiled against his mouth and danced fingers up the back of Poe’s neck.

The first time they fucked was against the wall in Poe’s room, wearing their flight suits, having just come down from flying together. Poe had been so insanely turned on by the way they could almost sense each other’s movements. Their ships instinctively sliced through the atmosphere together like they had done it their whole lives, like this wasn’t their first time in the air together outside a flight simulator.

Poe had meant to do it right, in a bed, properly, taking his time, learning Muran’s every sigh and every shudder. He wanted to do everything right with Muran and then somehow they were staring into each other’s eyes, flushed and sweaty and exactly on the same level, and it had been all Poe could do to not throw Muran up against the side of a ship and have him right there in the hangar. Making it to Poe’s room had been an exercise in self-control and thank every god in the galaxy that Poe’s roommate Iolo hadn’t been there.

It wasn’t proper, maybe, and it certainly wasn’t slow, but it was just right anyway.

(When they went for round two, Poe took his time. Really, really took his time.)

Poe told Muran he loved him for the first time in the middle of the crowded hangar bay, blurting it out while Muran was streaked with engine oil, surrounded by students and instructors. Poe would forever treasure the memory of the way Muran had smiled at him, the way he had said, “I know you do, Poe. I love you, too.”

Then Iolo had whistled and Karé had shouted something rude. Poe would treasure the memory of Muran’s anxious, self-conscious fluttering gaze, too, the way he had let Poe hug him and laughed into Poe’s hair.

For as long as Poe was at the Academy, he never kissed anyone but Muran. As far as Poe was concerned, that was pretty damn ideal.

-

“I kriffing hate running, have I ever said?” Poe asked, panting, as he and Muran took another lap on the training grounds.

“Maybe once or twice,” Muran said, his long legs making his strides seem effortless.

Poe had to practically take two strides for Muran’s every one and they definitely were not fucking effortless. “There’s a reason I want to be a pilot, okay? No damned running on the damned ground.”

“General fitness is important.”

“Fuck, you sound like the major. ‘Every officer needs to be sound of mind and body,’” Poe sing-songed. 

“Don’t let him hear you say that; he’ll make you run laps all night,” Karé said as she came up behind them, keeping pace. Karé actually enjoyed running. She was clearly insane.

“No,” Poe moaned. “I’m dying. Will you carry me, Muran? I’m small; I’ll fit on your back.”

“I’m helping you by saying no,” Muran said, expression bland, but Poe knew him well enough to read the amusement in his eyes.

“Hate you,” Poe said, holding his hand to the stitch in his side. Every time he took a breath it felt like a knife was jabbing into his midsection. Fuck he hated running.

“How’s this for a distraction, then,” Karé said. “Iolo and I were thinking of heading to that new club tonight, you guys in?”

“Hell yes,” Poe said immediately and then looked to Muran. “I mean, if you want?”

Poe loved going out. He loved dancing and music and getting a bit tipsy; he loved being surrounded by people, half strangers and half people he loved. Muran was more the stay at home type, happy to spend his evenings curled on the bed with a holonovel, preferably with Poe snuggled next to him. Poe loved that, too, and he loved making Muran happy.

But he also loved fun and parties so they strove to keep a balance in what they did. Sometimes they stayed in and sometimes they went out.

But tonight Poe really, really wanted to go out. No classes tomorrow, even! It was perfect.

“We can do that,” Muran agreed, and if they hadn’t been in the middle of a run Poe would’ve kissed him senseless.

He was tempted to do it anyway but the looming threat of more running won out. He settled for giving Muran his best and brightest smile and promising, “I’ll make it worth your while, pal.”

“Oh, gross,” Karé groaned.

Ignoring her, Poe said, “I’m gonna blow you as soon as we’re done here. Just, you know. So you know.”

“Fuck you guys,” Karé said, speeding up so she left them behind, but Muran was laughing, bright and happy, and it was almost enough to make Poe forget how much he kriffing hated running.

Not quite, but almost.

-

The club was crowded and loud and perfect: bright, flashing lights and overpriced drinks. Poe, Muran, Karé, and Iolo managed to snag themselves a table just as the previous occupants left it for the dance floor. They shouted at each other for a while, striving to be heard above the booming music, before Poe knocked back the last of his drink and stood up, offering his hand to Muran.

“Come on,” he said. “Dance with me, babe.”

Muran shook his head. “I’ll watch.”

“Please,” Poe wheedled, moving behind Muran’s chair and draping himself over the back. He spoke into Muran’s ear, lips against his skin. “Just for a little while. I want to touch you.”

Shivering, Muran said, “You touched me an hour ago, or did you forget?”

“Nah, babe,” Poe purred, and Karé was rolling her eyes.

She pulled Iolo by the hand. “They’re being disgusting already; let’s leave ‘em to it.”

They moved onto the dance floor, swaying to the music. In a few minutes they would drift off with new partners, like they always did. If the new partners didn’t work out, there Karé and Iolo would be again, just like a perfectly tuned chrono.

“It’ll be fun,” Poe said, kissing the soft, sensitive skin behind Muran’s ear. “Dancing is like sex with your clothes on.”

“I can have sex with you with our clothes off as soon we get back home.”

“Can you?”

“Poe.”

“Muran.” Poe slid around until he was looking into Muran’s face, giving him his best pleading expression.

“Just for a little while,” Muran relented, more indulgent than resigned, which was exactly the outcome Poe had expected. This was usually how it went, after all.

Poe kissed him on the mouth, swiftly but deeply. “Love you.”

“I know,” Muran said, fingers dragging down Poe’s scalp.

Hand in hand, they slipped in amongst the crowd. Muran was always a little bit awkward when he danced, less because he was self-conscious and more because this was so not his scene. Poe loved him so much for trying, for putting up with it because it made Poe happy. 

And Muran always ended up smiling and laughing and enjoying himself anyway, happy because Poe was happy, just the two of them dancing like no one else was around. His hands continually ended up on Poe’s hips, which Poe couldn’t fault him for. They were good hips.

A serving droid came through selling shots of something colorful; Poe bought one without knowing what it was. He swallowed it, strong but sweeter than he had expected, and pressed his lips to Muran’s while he ground against him. 

“You taste like gapanga fruit,” Muran murmured, hands on Poe’s ass.

“Nice, right? Actually, I’m gonna buy another,” Poe said and did just that.

Muran was laughing at him. “At this rate you’ll be on your ass in an hour.”

“Ah, so little faith.”

“I’ll come pick you up off the floor when you crash,” Muran promised teasingly. “I’m gonna sit though, if you don’t mind. That’s enough clothed, not actually sex for me.”

Poe ran his fingertips over Muran’s arm. “Want me to come sit with you? I don’t know what happened to Iolo and Karé.”

“No, don’t worry about it. You have fun; I’ll be fine.”

“By yourself?”

“I like watching you.”

“Well, babe, I know that’s true,” Poe said with a smirk. He gave Muran a kiss and watched him make his way back to the seating area.

Poe weaved his way through the crowd so he could order another drink at the bar, tapping his fingers in time to the beat of the music. He met a cute couple while he was waiting and let them pull him back onto the dance floor. He caught Muran’s eye for a second and smiled, thinking of Muran watching him while he danced. 

This was what he loved: making friends for just a night, the dizzying crush of so many beings simply out to have a good time, the lights and the music and the sweat on his skin. Somewhere along the way Poe lost count of his drinks and he managed to find himself up on a table with a Twi’lek called Nyla who really knew how to move her hips.

He noticed Muran out on the floor, recording him, so Poe might have intentionally put on something of a show. He liked thinking of Muran watching it later.

“That guy’s way into you,” Nyla said, sliding her hand around Poe’s waist.

Poe waved Muran over. “He’d better be.”

Muran came closer, slipping the holocam away. “Can I interrupt?”

“This is my boyfriend,” Poe announced, letting Muran encourage him back onto the floor. He took Muran’s hands and then jumped down, pressing himself against Muran. “Hi, baby.”

“You’re drunk, baby,” Muran said, lips twitching like he was amused.

Nyla said, “Cute. Bet you guys are super sexy.” Her gaze tracked slowly over them, head to toe and back again.

“Extremely,” Poe agreed as he kissed Muran’s neck, but Muran was laughing.

“You are ridiculous and it’s time to go home,” he said, waving at Nyla and steering Poe away. “Great to meet you, I’m sure, but it’s past Poe’s bedtime.”

“See you around,” Poe called hopefully to Nyla as she blew him a kiss. He wrapped his arm around Muran’s waist and leaned into him as they walked. “I think she wanted to fuck us.”

“I think she maybe just wanted to watch.”

Poe considered that for a moment. “Would’ve been hot.”

Muran squeezed his waist. “Think you’re too drunk for much of a show.”

“I’ll give you a show,” Poe promised. “I’m gonna make you see stars when we get home.”

“Mmmm, we’ll see,” Muran said, his eyes crinkling as he smiled.

“I’m offended you doubt me,” Poe said, though he leaned into Muran even more. He was comfortable, all right?

“I can tell. Still taking you home, though.”

“What about Karé and Iolo? Should we get them?”

“They’re doing just fine without us,” Muran said, pointing them out.

Karé was in a corner with an orange-skinned Togruta, looking to be getting on exceedingly well, while Iolo was dancing in the midst of a large group. Poe grinned. “I see your point.”

“I am gonna let Iolo know we’re going, though, wait here a minute, okay? Don’t vanish on me.”

“I won’t move a muscle,” Poe promised, though that was a lie because the beat was still nice and Poe liked to move his hips. He swayed to the music as a tall humanoid with silvery skin glided over, a Teevan, if Poe wasn’t mistaken. 

The way he slipped in, standing a bit too close, his heavy gaze, let Poe know exactly what this guy was hoping for. Poe just wanted to dance, though, and the guy was smooth and graceful. Also hot, because Poe wasn’t blind and he could still notice, even if he wasn’t inclined to do anything about it.

Very not inclined.

“Sorry, I’m gonna cut in,” Muran said, curling his arm around Poe and setting a possessive hand on his hip. He didn’t sound very sorry at all. “He’s taken.”

“Shame,” the guy said and smacked Poe on the ass before moving away.

“Hey now,” Poe said, grinning. “Maybe we should have asked him to join us; Teevans are super flexible, you know.”

“First the Twi’lek, now the Teevan; you’re gonna make me think you’re bored of me, Poe.”

“Maybe I wanna try out my options.”

“Yeah? I’ll tell you right now you’ll never find someone who’ll put up with you like I do.”

“Rude,” Poe said, but he rubbed his hand over Muran’s flat stomach, quite content to never try out any other options for the rest of his life.

If he’d been a bit less drunk at the time, he might have thought about what that meant.

They took an airbus back to the Academy, Poe curling up against Muran’s side while Muran looped his arm around Poe’s shoulders. Poe rubbed Muran’s thigh absently and slowly began to realize how tired he actually was. Also his head felt dim and shaky, the alcohol settling in and making its presence known.

When Muran stood up, Poe followed him off the airbus, stumbling a bit on the last step. “I think I drank too much,” he admitted, using Muran as an aid to keep himself steady.

Muran wasn’t quite smiling but Poe could hear it in his voice anyway. “You think so? Because I wasn’t sure.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Poe looked around, finally noticing that they had gotten off too early. “This isn’t our stop.”

“Feeling queasy?”

“No? Kinda hungry, actually.”

“Good,” Muran said, leading Poe over to a street vendor. He ordered a couple of wraps and handed one to Poe. 

It warmed Poe’s hands and he took a bite eagerly. “You’re too good to me,” he said after he swallowed.

“I know,” Muran agreed, leading him down the street towards their shared room on campus.

“I don’t think I’m gonna be up for that show, you know, now that I think about it.”

“I know that, too.” Now Muran was smiling, warm and fond. “You can make me see stars some other time.”

Poe rubbed Muran’s hipbone contentedly with his free hand. “Tomorrow. Maybe more than once.”

“Okay, babe,” Muran said, and Poe considered that he probably had the best life of anyone in the entire galaxy.

-

Poe woke to the sensation of warm lips on the back of his neck and a low voice murmuring his name. “No,” he groaned, turning his face into his pillow. “No, no, no.”

“Poe,” Muran said, his body pressed against Poe’s back. “It’s almost noon. You have to get up.”

“No, I don’t,” Poe insisted, muffled into the pillow. There was a relentless hammering in his skull and the sun was a cruel, cruel thing that needed to go away immediately. 

“Your engine’s due tomorrow. You’re really gonna sleep the whole day away instead of working on it?’

Poe swore and rolled over so he could see Muran’s face. “It’s finished?”

“Well, to be honest, by anyone else’s standards it probably is. But I know you, Poe.”

“Frag, I know. I can’t--” Cursing again, Poe said, “Why did I let Karé convince me to go out?”

Rolling his eyes, Muran said, “Yes, she really twisted your arm.”

“I’ve got that extra session with Krass scheduled later, too, kriff. You shouldn’t have let me have that last drink. Two drinks. Three.”

Muran chuckled and kissed Poe’s cheek before rudely shoving him onto the floor.

“Fuck!”

“If you’re in the ‘fresher in five minutes or less I’ll come join you.”

Poe laid there on the floor. Five minutes. He could do this.

“I’ve got this,” he said, and Muran just laughed at him.

-

When he got called in to see Major Morrow, Poe didn’t entirely know what to expect. He didn’t think he had done anything wrong recently and he couldn’t think of anything particularly good he’d done recently, either. As Poe stood at attention before his desk, the major waved him down.

“Have a seat, cadet. Relax. I just wanted to have a chat.”

Poe sat carefully, back straight. “A chat, sir?”

Major Morrow watched Poe with a shrewd, assessing gaze. “Not long until graduation. Lots to think about.”

“That’s true, sir. We are all eager to receive our assignments.”

In their last year, every cadet was allowed to put in a request for assignment, their ideal placement and the reasoning behind it. Of course, not everyone had their request granted. 

“I am not the only one who has been following your progress with great interest, Cadet Dameron. You clearly have a bright future ahead of you. While you may tend towards recklessness, you have much to recommend yourself. Your skill in the air, your dedication, your ability to make quick decisions under pressure, your fearlessness, so much that can’t be taught.”

Poe sat even straighter. “Thank you, sir. I’ve always tried to do my best.”

Major Morrow leaned forward slightly, hands clasped on the desk in front of him. “The best quality in an officer, I have always felt, is something that can never be learned in a classroom. The ability to make people want to follow you. I’ve watched you, cadet. You inspire others naturally, coaxing the best out of them. They trust you.”

Poe could feel the back of his neck heating up and he didn’t know if he was meant to say something, or what he should say if he did speak. 

Apparently he didn’t need to say anything because the major continued, “Your future is unlimited at this point, Cadet Dameron. You have the potential to rise through the ranks as high as you want to. However,” he said, pausing, “this potential doesn’t come without sacrifice. Even in peacetime, a military life is not an easy one. It isn’t easy on personal relationships.”

Suddenly it all became clear. Poe and Muran had never tried to make a secret of their relationship; what would have been the point? Major Morrow was trying to tell Poe that rising in the New Republic Navy might come at the expense of a life with Muran.

Poe knew there was no guarantee he and Muran could be together after graduation. He knew they might end up half a galaxy apart. He was not, however, prepared to sacrifice Muran for the potential of a nice sounding rank in front of his name.

“No disrespect, sir, but I’m not going to let my career dictate my life. I just want to fly; I thought being in the Navy would help me do that while I give something back, too. I just want to do the best I can and I don’t care about how many stripes or stars that puts on my insignia.”

“Fair enough, Cadet Dameron. I’m just giving you something to think about.”

“Well, then, thank you, sir.” Poe stood again at attention. “I’ll certainly think about it. Suppose you won’t give me a hint, though, as to where I’m getting assigned?”

“You’ll have to wait until after the holiday, just like everyone else, cadet.”

“Can’t blame me for trying,” Poe said, smiling.

Major Morrow didn’t quite return the smile, but his eyes were bright and amused. “You’re free to go.”

Poe saluted and left the office. Though he had meant what he said, he couldn’t help but worry as he walked through the halls.

Being with Muran in the Academy had been easy. But what would happen once they were out in the wide galaxy again? 

-

Over the next several days, Poe kept thinking about it. Obviously Poe wasn’t going to leave Muran; that was ridiculous. He was going to hang on as tightly as he could to Muran for as long as he could, no matter what happened. But what if being in the Navy forced them apart? What if they couldn’t make this work?

What if Muran didn’t want to make it work?

Going to the Academy and joining the Navy had seemed both noble and exciting. It was a way to give back, maybe, to all the people like his parents who had fought for the safe galaxy Poe had grown up in, as well as a way to fly the fastest ships. Now Poe was realizing that being in the Navy meant truly giving up something of his life, of his own personal freedom. Maybe his parents had had the right idea: run their own business, keep all the control, be together with no one to tell them they couldn’t. Sure, cargo transportation wasn’t particularly glamorous but it wasn’t like the Navy’s peace-keeping force was brimming with adventure. Poe knew he would spend most of his time monitoring shipping lanes and escorting politicians. 

Poe was in Karé’s room while her roommate was out, sitting on her bed with his back braced against the wall while Karé thumbed through a textbook stored on her datapad and Iolo wrote a paper at her desk. Poe could have been studying, too, probably should have been studying, but instead he was thinking about Muran.

He was always thinking about Muran. He couldn’t stop worrying and he hated it.

“Long distance relationships can work, can’t they?” he said out loud, without having fully made the conscious decision to ask.

Karé and Iolo both turned to him, work immediately forgotten. 

“Who’s in a long distance relationship?” Iolo asked. 

“No one. I mean, not yet.”

Glancing at Iolo, Karé said, “Not yet? You’re worrying about your placement? You know you’re going to get exactly what you asked for, don’t you, Poe? You’re top of our class.”

Poe shrugged. “I guess.”

“And Muran’s likely to get what he wants, too. The New Republic ought to be thrilled they’ve got you both.”

“That’s easy enough to say.”

“This is about your meeting with the major,” Iolo said, sure and clear, not even needing to ask.

“He suggested it might be… difficult. Muran and me. Once we graduate.”

Scoffing, Karé said, “And that’s going to stop you?”

“Of course not!”

“Then what’s the problem?”

“There isn’t one, I’m just…” Poe pushed a hand through his hair. _Afraid,_ was how the sentence finished in his head. He just couldn’t make himself say it aloud.

Karé moved closer to Poe, setting her hand on his knee. Poe squeezed her fingers.

“If you’re concerned,” Iolo said, tone gentle, “I think you should be talking about this with Muran. Not us.”

“Yes,” Poe said, and sighed. 

-

It wasn’t that Poe didn’t want to talk to Muran, exactly. One of the best things about him was that he was so easy to talk to. He was calm and focused and always listened intently; he never dismissed anything Poe said or felt even when it was probably ridiculous.

Talking about it, though, talking about it would make it real. If he told Muran he was afraid that they would be parted, that their relationship wouldn’t last, that would mean it might actually happen. Breathing his fears into the world would make them tangible and capable of being realized and that was the last thing Poe wanted.

He knew he had to anyway. He knew that Muran could sense his strange mood and that he was only giving Poe time to come to him. Sooner or later Muran would ask. 

Poe knew it would be better to do it on his own terms, in his own time, so late one night as they sat next to each other with holonovels, propped up against the pillows, Poe said, “Do you ever think about what will happen after graduation? With us?”

“Thinking of dropping me?” Muran teased.

Poe couldn’t even pretend he would. “No. Just… What if we get assigned to different planets? Not just different squadrons, but entirely different bases, halfway across the galaxy?”

“If we do, we’ll figure it out.”

“That’s it? We’ll figure it out?”

“I guess I don’t see the point in worrying about something that might not even happen.”

“You say that like it’s easy,” Poe said, shifting until he was seated cross-legged on the bed.

Muran trailed his fingertip over Poe’s cheek. “Why create problems we don’t have? I think we have enough to be concerned about, don’t you?”

“You’re so fucking sensible, it’s annoying.”

Laughing, Muran said, “Well, one of has got to be.”

Poe didn’t think he could just shut off his worry, just like that, but it was true that his anxiety wasn’t going to do anything except make him unhappy. Instead, Poe decided to strive to think about something else, something tangible, something that actually might make him happy.

“What were you planning for the holiday?” he asked.

“Figured I’d do whatever you’re doing.”

Poe looked at Muran and just thought, _fuck, I love you so much._ “What do you think about coming with me to Yavin Four?”

Muran’s smile was slow and easy. “I think I’d love to see your home.”

“Yeah? My dad will be there, you know.” That might be a deal-breaker for some people, Poe figured. Meeting the family. Maybe Muran didn’t want to. Maybe that was too intense, too serious. Maybe he was pushing.

“I’d really like to meet him.”

Poe stared for a second and then kissed Muran’s mouth, squeezing his waist. “He’ll love you.”

“How do you know?”

“Because I love you.”

“You say the sweetest things,” Muran said and pushed Poe down against the mattress, whereupon Poe proceeded to say some very, very filthy things instead.

-

The sweltering, humid heat as he and Muran stepped off the transport on Yavin 4 was welcoming and familiar, at least to Poe. They rented a speeder and then had a good-natured argument over who got to fly it (Poe won).

His dad was out front when they arrived at the ranch, trimming away some foliage that was blocking the light to a little patch of garden. Kes grinned at them and walked over as they disembarked.

“Hey, Dad,” Poe said, letting Kes engulf him in a huge, crushing hug.

“It’s been too long, Poe. You think you’re too good for your old man now, huh?”

“I’ve always been too good for you.”

Kes snorted and released Poe, turning to Muran. “So, you’re the boyfriend?”

Offering his hand to shake, Muran said, “Muran. It’s great to finally meet you in person, Sergeant Dameron.”

Ignoring the hand entirely, Kes pulled Muran into a hug instead. “It’s Kes. Poe’s been raving about you for years. I’m just surprised you stuck around him long enough for me to actually get to meet you.”

“He’s a hugger, did I forget to warn you?” Poe said, smiling at Muran’s bewildered expression from over Kes’ shoulder. “Also, I resent that, Dad. I am a catch.”

“Sure,” Kes said with a distressing amount of sarcasm. “You boys hungry? I can start dinner.”

“Ugh,” Poe said, grabbing Muran’s hand. “I know I haven’t been home in a while but I haven’t forgotten your lack of cooking skills.”

“No respect,” Kes said, shaking his head at Muran sadly. “You see what I put up with? You’re a brave man, Muran, and best of luck to you with this one.”

“He has his moments,” Muran said, with a bright, fleeting flash of a smile, and they all walked inside the house together.

-

They turned dinner into a group affair, each of them contributing something. Kes grilled, which even Poe had to admit he was pretty decent at. Afterwards Kes brought out a few beers and they sat outside in the cooler evening air, talking and laughing.

When Kes left them to retire for the evening he said, “There are fresh sheets on your bed, Poe. Enjoy your platonic snuggling.”

“It’ll be very loud platonic snuggling, Dad, might want to play some music or something,” Poe said, which only made Kes grin at him before the door slid shut behind him.

“Everything about you makes sense now,” Muran said, and Poe pinched him.

Their extremely non-platonic snuggling was pretty quiet, though, and when Poe woke up the following morning he simply laid there for a long while, watching Muran sleep. The faint, even rise and fall of his chest, the loose curl of his fingers on the mattress, his dark skin against the sheets. Poe felt warm and comfortable and content and it took some serious willpower to finally make himself move.

After a brief sojourn in the refresher, Poe found his father in the kitchen, watching the holonews on mute with a cup of caf. “Morning,” Poe said, pouring himself a cup and joining his dad at the table.

“Morning,” Kes said, looking at Poe from over the rim of his mug. 

“What?”

Kes shrugged. “Nothing. Just… seems like you want to talk, that’s all.”

Sighing, Poe said, “Obvious, huh?”

“A little. You seemed distracted last night, sometimes. That’s all. I know you, Poe. What’s bothering you?”

“It’s dumb. I should be happy. I am happy.”

“But…?”

Poe hesitated and tried to cover it by taking a sip of his caf. “How did you know you wanted to be with Mom for the rest of your lives?”

Kes was just gazing at him and Poe knew he would take this seriously. “Honestly I half-knew from when I first met her. She was like no one else I’d ever known, she… But the real moment? The moment where I thought, I’m gonna marry this girl, if she’ll have me? She was stepping out of a ship, wearing that old battered jacket, you remember it? She’d just taken her helmet off and her hair was a mess, sticking up everywhere, wild curls coming out of her braid, and she saw me standing there and she just… smiled at me, and that was it. I wanted nothing else in my life as much as I wanted her, this crazy, wild, beautiful, amazing woman. Finest pilot I’d ever seen, with the sweetest smile and the strongest grip. She was it. She was it for me.”

Something ached in Poe’s chest, this fierce, desperate longing for the mother he wished he had known better, wished he had had longer. Shara Bey had loved Poe with everything she’d had and he knew that; he treasured every moment he had shared with her, but he couldn’t help but long for _more._

“I’ve been in love before,” Poe said slowly, not entirely sure how to say what he was trying to say. “Before Muran. I loved people before him.”

Kes was smiling. “When you were a teenager you fell in love with someone new every other week.”

Okay, that was an exaggeration, but… Fair enough. “I meant it every time.”

“I know, Poe.”

“It’s only… Muran doesn’t feel the same. It feels bigger with him, scarier, like… I don’t know, like he’s my safety net but I’m always afraid someone will pull it and then he won’t be there anymore, he’ll… And it’ll probably be me that pulls it, it’ll be me doing something kriffing stupid. I know it doesn’t make sense.”

“No, it sounds like you’re in love,” Kes said, gentle, without judgment.

“I am,” Poe said because he had known that for years. The problem was figuring out how to move forward from that. “The Navy might make it difficult for us to be together. Muran says we shouldn’t worry about it unless it happens.”

“But you’re worried anyway.” 

“I don’t want to lose him, not for anything, and sometimes I think… I think… But how do you _know_? How do I know that I should… that I should try…” Poe couldn’t make himself say the words but he thought his dad must have understood anyway.

He clasped Poe’s shoulder and squeezed. “Poe, you used your break from the Academy to bring your boyfriend home to meet your father. I think you already know the answer.”

Poe didn’t know what to say so he didn’t say anything. The life he wanted was the one where Muran was by his side. Was that the only answer he needed?

“Good morning,” Muran said, walking in, scratching the back of his head. He was wearing one of Poe’s old, worn shirts, a bit too small for his tall, lanky frame, the edge riding up as his arm was raised.

 _I want this every morning forever,_ Poe thought, and realized he had known that for a long time.

He didn’t need any other answer.

-

“This one,” Poe said, stretching out his arm so his palm rested against the trunk of the tree. “Grown from the very tree that sat in the courtyard of the Jedi Temple on Coruscant. Gift to my mother from Luke Skywalker himself.” 

It was one of Poe’s favorite stories. His mother had always glossed over her role but as a small child he had been certain that his mother must have been a badass, going on missions with _Luke Skywalker._ (His father had confirmed this. Most of the best details about this particular adventure had come from him.)

“It’s beautiful.” Muran came to stand directly next to Poe, looking up high into the branches. 

“It’s imbued with the Force. Or at least, that’s what I’ve been told.”

“Maybe that’s why you’re so kriffing lucky when you fly,” Muran said, a bit slyly. “Benefits of growing up with a Force tree in your yard.”

“Nah, that’s just me being amazing,” Poe said with a grin, knocking his fist against Muran’s shoulder.

“So refreshingly modest.”

Poe moved to stand behind Muran, sliding his arms around his waist. He nuzzled the back of Muran’s neck. “Just the way you like me?”

“Mmm, maybe,” Muran agreed, tilting his head to give Poe access to that spot that always made him sigh, his breath hitching softly.

“Will you marry me, Muran?” Poe said, not thinking about it, just… doing. “Please say you will. Say you’ll stay with me forever, no matter what happens.”

Muran stayed quiet, his body not tense but still, somehow, before he turned in the circle of Poe’s arms, watching him carefully. 

Poe forgot how to breathe for a moment, as frightened as he had ever been in his entire life.

“Of course I will, Poe,” Muran said, smoothing his hands up and down Poe’s back. He said it so matter of fact, like it was a foregone conclusion, like he hadn’t even had to think. Poe _loved_ him, fuck, he loved him.

“You will?” Poe dragged his fingers through Muran’s hair.

“Yeah, dummy.” Muran was smiling, small but happy. “You thought I wouldn’t?”

“Well, no, but… I mean, I hoped? That you would? But, oh, frag,” Poe said, giving up. “Don’t mind me.”

“Never do. If I did this would’ve been over a long time ago.”

“Fuck off,” Poe said, lips twitching into a smile of his own now, too. “Sorry, I should have… I should have done this better. Done something special.”

“We both know you don’t have the patience for that,” Muran said, though he only sounded fond.

“Sorry,” Poe said again anyway. Muran deserved someone who would give him dinner and flowers and a walk beneath the stars, not a spur of the moment, blurted out question.

“Don’t apologize.” Muran feathered kisses to Poe’s cheeks, his eyelids, his nose. “Don’t apologize for loving me so much you can’t wait.” 

“I do, you know,” Poe said, hand at the back of Muran’s neck, mouths almost touching. “I love you so much.”

“I know,” Muran said and kissed his mouth. “I know you do, Poe. I love you, too.”

Then Poe was laughing, the sound just bubbling up out of him. “That’s what you said. The very first time. The first time I told you.”

Muran threaded his fingers in Poe’s hair, stroking it lightly, his eyes crinkling with happiness. “Well, one of us has got to be predictable and it definitely will never be you.”

Poe held Muran tightly, tucking his face into Muran’s neck. He didn’t know what would happen but he was sure of one thing, the only thing that mattered.

Whatever happened, he and Muran would face it together.


End file.
